And so this is Xmas…And what is the go?…Another year older and
fatter to show…
“SOOOO great to see you
Jilinda … you look G R E A T …
Your new environment is
obviously agreeing with you” .
OK … so when you’ve stopped looking me up and down … YES, I’m
carrying 5 kilos extra than last year … in fact 5 kilos more than I’ve ever weighed. So what? … Does that make me a lesser person? … You’re
kidding right? That makes no sense at all as I am actually a greater person on mass J
2014 has been a huge year for me … I’ve been through much
change and many new experiences in the past year: ... sold our dream house at the
beach, moved interstate to the country, learned heaps of new stuff, coached and
mentored others, delivered group workshops, travelled heaps, given inspirational presentations
to other women, started writing regular blogposts, upgraded my website, project
managed a rather major downsize and restructure, explored lots of new towns and
met lots of new people … I really think
I’ve massively grown during 2014 … mind, body and soul!
So … please don’t simply judge me by my appearance … Yep, I may look another year older and fatter ... but you don’t
know what this mind, body and soul has been through and the goals I’ve achieved
this year. Sure, one of them may not
have been my 2014 fitness goal … so what.
Your judgement doesn’t define who I am … it defines who YOU are.
Women are so obsessed with being the kind of ‘beautiful’
as defined by magazines, media, shops, internet, peers, family … it's freakin’
everywhere. The loud message is that if
you are not a size 6 -10 [regardless of age & natural body shape], you are
failing to meet the ‘generally acceptable’ level of attractiveness or beauty. Well, I'm over it ... starving yourself and becoming obsessed with exercise does not make for a happy life ... it is all about living a life to [supposedly] meet others shallow expectations.
Don’t get me wrong … I like to be fit and healthy, wear nice
clothes, look after my skin, and have a funky, individual hair style … I love
feeling beautiful in my own skin; BUT I don't have to be size 10 to feel beautiful ... I’ve
not been a size 10 since I was 10 years old!
Being size 10 doesn’t make me more attractive [in fact I’d look rather
gaunt and more aged]. My natural shape is curvy,
muscly, booby, broad shouldered, and it’s not the type of body that stays looking
fit and toned without hours of daily exercise, rigorous fitness training and
diets of lettuce leaves, washed down with nothing but water. I don’t
need to do all that to feel ‘beautiful’.
I AM beautiful … I love having my own individual style – taking the time to choose clothes that are flattering to my shape, in bright colours that match my
out-there personality and inner strength. I love that my body is physically strong too … I enjoy strength training
and gardening [yes, I can lift heavy pots and bags of soil]. I feel beautiful [and
blessed] from within … I love my level of intelligent thought, my strong values and
priorities in life, the fact that I have many choices and the freedom to choose
… embracing the adventures, new experiences and life-long learning that changes bring. I find
beauty in all of that … it’s a whole package – not a size number.
Beauty comes from having your
own style, living your own way
and knowing your own mind.
So … should we just ignore weight gains … not mention it ... not
have health and fitness goals?
No … I DO care that I’m
carrying a little more weight this year?
Do you think I haven’t noticed that some of my fitted skirts are too
tight to wear comfortably … or don’t even do up? Of course I’ve noticed … while I’m not one to hop on the bathroom
scales every day and have that number dictate how I feel for the day [ha, how
can a number MAKE you feel anything?!] … I’m definitely aware that some of my
fav outfits are not a wearable option at present.
Doesn’t that make me annoyed? … Yeah, sure … annoyed at
myself for not pushing through those non-motivated winter days, and allowing the
change of circumstances that have meant what I used to do [beach walks, hill
climbs and swims], I can’t now do in my current environment. BUT … I also know that was yesterday … and I
can’t change how I chose to respond to yesterday's options.
What I CAN DO is choose to try harder and do it better today and
tomorrow … and make new, more suitable goals for 2015.
Don’t waste time berating myself for yesterday’s efforts … all I
can do is BE, DO and HAVE a better today and tomorrow.
Does the extra weight make me feel less beautiful? … No, well
- not really, nothing that sticks to me these days. Just occasional niggling voices
that come up from my deep past, as I was brought up in an extremely
judgemental environment … one that valued hard work over laziness, and the
judgement that over-weight people = laziness. The same soul-destroying, perfectionist story that I
took into my first marriage about what ‘a perfect wife and mother’ should be like and look
like … but that’s a ‘yester-year’ thing, and I laugh now when I think of the
shallowness of that type of judgemental thinking.
When I embraced ME as a whole, unique package – I realised
beauty is so much more than external attributes, specifically sized packages, or carefully applied make-up …
YES, beauty comes from within ... from the inside out.
No amount of dieting, fitness training or makeup can cover up an
ugly personality.
I love having an 'out-there', unique, individualist, strong-minded
personality, encased in a slightly larger than ‘magazine’ average body with
curves … living a fairly fit and healthy life in line with my values and beliefs. You see, that way ... I’m
in competition with no one … not trying to look like others, or live to other’s
expectations ... no numbers on the scales, no ‘must have’ dictations, no unrealistic
demands from peers or those I spend time with. My inner strength comes from believing in myself ... individualism that builds immense personal power. That's beautiful
I also choose to share my life with a REAL partner … one who shares the same values and loves
the WHOLE me, the complete package, as I am, [lumps and bumps] … neither of us wanting the ‘trying- to- be- perfect- to- meet- others- expectations’
version. I feel most beautiful in
the arms of the man I love … no designer clothes or 'perfect body' can ever make me feel more
beautiful than to be touched and loved by my man.
So my
message to you this Xmas … as you share with family and friends is to chill out and simply:
Be-YOU-tiful
You are
going to be in your body for a long time … you might as well get comfortable in
it and enjoy showing off your full package – your mind, body and soul.
Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she
is beautiful
Rock on …. Jingle those bells, don your gay apparel and have a beautiful Xmas holiday period.
Be YOU, nobody else does it better.
